We reached a most incredible milestone this month. A brand new beautiful and healthy baby girl was born to a couple living at the Family Center. Of course, many babies have begun their lives with us over the many years we’ve been working with families. What makes this event so remarkable is that we have had the opportunity to work with this baby’s mom (Nellie) and dad (Chuck) from the time they were a little over 2 months into their pregnancy. They were a bit nervous and a little skeptical, they had had three previous miscarriages, so this was a high risk pregnancy. They each had another child that wasn’t living with them. They came to us with baggage, debts to repay and worrisome ideas about parenting. Nellie was resistant, had an attitude, and a level of entitlement that put us on edge and we often wanted to vote her off our island. Luckily, Chuck is very sweet, and they are a package deal. I think that may have saved them on more than one occasion. Knowing we were signing up for months and months of them and then two years more…well, I for one was dreaming of early retirement. But over time, little by very little, we began to forge relationships, see progress begin to take hold and we started to breathe normally again.

Once Chuck began working, Nellie was home alone, feeling lousy and grouchy. When she came to us, she had believed in harsh punishment and felt that was the only way kids learned to respect their parents. And she had dismissed the idea that babies shouldn’t be left to cry. She wasn’t going to be manipulated by her kid! She also admitted that she had never taken education or work seriously. Neither of her parents had had a job that she knew of. They hustled for what they wanted or needed. They were heroine addicts. But she began to take our workshops seriously, her work with Meg seriously and when she looked in the mirror, she knew changes needed to be made, for the sake of the daughter that was on her way. She began to question herself, in private at first, she didn’t want us thinking we were making an impact. Nellie had a lot to say in Kids First. I could count on her to take the opposite view of each topic I presented (whether she believed what she was saying or not)! She eventually admitted that she was questioning her beliefs about being a parent. She began to be less resistant and admitted to enjoying the other workshops as well and became an active participant. She and Chuck were doing Art Therapy and making remarkable progress. A transformation began and she became the sassy favorite of residents and staff alike, much to our surprise.

Nellie went in to have her baby when she was 9 days overdue. Chuck was with her and after many long hours of labor, their baby Nirvana was born. Chuck cried and cried and held his daughter proudly. He saw the mother of his daughter with awe and a greater respect after she had shown her strength and determination in delivering their baby girl. They are proud and loving parents and are doing it differently this time around. Nellie was determined to have her baby in a crib the first night at home. But she told me the next morning that she just couldn’t be separated from her, and she is giving their bassinet away.

Looking ahead, we all, both staff and families, have the opportunity to support, nurture and coach this new family, in their home, every day. We can give respite, encouragement and information. As we hold this new little life in our arms, sing a favorite lullaby and kiss her cheek, we get to see her smile in her sleep, safe and cozy. We will be here for her for the most important years of her life, guiding, protecting, teaching and nurturing. We are a community that surrounds them, cares for them, is cheering for them. They know that they can rely on us and we feel lucky for this time with them. This is our new Family Center on the second floor of the Mary Isaak Center.